(no subject)

[socrowdedinhere]

 

Terris: Hm. And how would you know if you're starting to break your programming?

Connor: .............I...I don't know. When my software has destabilized to a point it no longer works, maybe. *troubled*

Terris: *will give his shoulder a supportive squeeze* I'm sure you'll be fine. You have Ziomi to support you, and now you have me, for as long as you two are here.

Sirrah: *stands on his lap and presses her head up under his chin* And you have my support too, Connor. 

Connor: ..........thank you, Terris, Sirrah. *hesitates, then reaches up to his temple, tapping the spot in the center of his LED . . . and Terris will watch his skin bleed back, revealing white and grey on his face and hands. He'll pull his shirt off to show his torso* I've deactivated my skin. This is my protective shell. And this . . . *the white bleeds back to reveal smooth, off-white and grey supports with textured blue areas between. In the darkness of the cave, Terris will be able to see Connor's blue "heart" beating.* . . . shows the parts that make up my body.

Terris: *can't help it, he's awed. He'll shift to stand before Connor, looking him over... he starts to reach to touch, then pauses* May I?

Connor: *will gently shift Sirrah to the side and stand when Terris does* One moment. *will work off his boots, then his pants, standing completely exposed to Terris* All right, yes, you may.

Terris: *will gently touch different areas on Connor’s chest and torso, and then his arms.* You’re quite amazing, Connor. *he’ll shift and sit back down so Connor can dress, reactivate his skin, and settle again.*

Comments

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: *will explain anything Terris seems particularly interested in, and even remove one of his arms at the shoulder for Terris to inspect, explaining how /all/ of him is just parts assembled to make up the whole* I have been told so before. Thank you. *will reactivate his shell and his skin and get dressed before resettling next to Terris*

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: May I ask how you and Ziomi met? And I’m guessing the answer is no, but do you know how you got here?
Sirrah: *will return to Connor’s lap.*

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: *loosely wraps his arms around Sirrah* Unfortunately, you're right. I have no clue. I was stepping through a door into a building when suddenly I was in the middle of a forest instead. I thought I'd been pulled into a graphic interface like the one I'd meet my handler, Amanda, in. I started looking for her and saw movement in the trees. I went to investigate only to be swung at with a walking staff. Turns out Ziomi had /just/ escaped three thugs intent on robbing and raping her, and she thought I was one of them. I captured them and we took them to the church in the nearest town.

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: I’m glad you were there to help her, but... graphic interface?

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: *hesitates* I'm sorry. I don't think I can explain that. There is nothing like it at all in your world that I'm aware of to even try to compare it to. The technology simply doesn't exist.

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: *nodnod* Fair enough. What do you plan to do now that you’re here?

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: *pets Sirrah* Sirrah is looking for my home world. She will return me there once she's found it, but it could take up to a year or two. In the meantime, Ziomi is taking me to the lord of this land, who's a friend of hers.

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: Ah. Kalan Levair is a good man. His home will be a good place for you, I think.

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: You know him, too? *looks into the fire* Back home, I'd be destroyed for passing myself off as a human. Here, I'll be destroyed if I don't. *puts the headband back on, though Terris will see it's yellow and spinning slowly before it's covered once more* I've been told that anyone outside of the church we went to would fear me because I am so different, something no one here understands. To an extent, I could try to explain that androids are like j'har, at least in social position and function...but that's not right either. J'har aren't machines. They're living beings. They don't deserve the disregard and abuse that I've seen them endure.

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: I know him. I would even call him a friend. It has been a few years since I’ve seen him, perhaos I will travel with you when Ziomi has recovered. *he studies Connor.* I don’t think you are so different. You are made of something different, sure, but you are not so different from any other person. You feared for the life of your friend. You worried what I might do when you revealed what you are. You recognize an injustice done to others in seeing how j’har are treated. Perhaps you’re not alive, but you show signs of life, of being more than just parts put together to accomplish a task. ...Or perhaps I merely don’t, and can’t, understand what you really are.

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: *starts to reply...doesn't really know what to say, so he looks away with a nod* I...I shouldn't be capable of any of that. Androids don't /feel/ anything. They just simulate expected responses. But...I've been...experiencing things since coming here, thoughts and sensations that aren't part of my programming. I...I think I may be compromised, my software somehow corrupted. *admitted softly, with a clear tone of that being a really bad thing*

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: ...Compromised... as in you may be starting to break your programming?

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: *presses his lips nervously, as if in a swallow, and nods* Yes. It means I might wind up a deviant, a defective machine, no longer ruled by ordered instructions but by a confusing mess of nonsensical chaos, unpredictable and dangerous to everyone around me. I was designed to hunt down deviants, not...not become one.

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: ...Sounds an awful lot like life, friend. Emotions, thoughts, life, order and chaos. It’s what makes people predictable and yet so very unpredictable. Let me ask you, the androids who hurt humans, hurt or killed their owners, were they all abused by their owners in any way?

Since he never made it into the station to see the reports...

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: I have no idea, except for the one I interrogated the night before I found myself here. I've only had dealings with two deviants so far. Well, one plus I have the memories from my predecessor. The first Connor unit was destroyed rescuing a young girl from the family android after it went berserk and shot the father, apparently upon finding out it was going to be replaced. There was no sign of abuse before that. In fact, the android and the family's daughter had been very close. The android I helped apprehend and interrogate showed signs of post-traumatic stress disorder after months of physical and verbal abuse.

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: Mn, but it felt betrayed. Close to the child only to learn it was going to be replaced. Betrayal can cause powerful emotions in people, cause them to hurt someone they loved. I don’t know, Connor. I don’t truly understand what you are, and what is or is not possible, I just know what it seems like to me, what it best equates to... deviant androids are gaining life. They’re breaking past the rules that lock them into blind obedience and they are gaining the capacity to live, love, hate, hope, fear. *glances at Sirrah.* She says you are close to this, maybe that’s not as bad as people in your world think; maybe they’re just scared because they made something they hadn’t thought possible. And just as people here might destroy you because they cannot comprehend what you are, the people of your world seek to stop your kind from deviating from their intended design because they cannot comprehend a living machine. *he shrugs* It is a thought.

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: ....the android we apprehended wrote that - "I am alive" - on the wall over its owner's corpse. *soft sigh* You may be right, but that doesn't change the fact that there are /millions/ of androids in circulation. If even just a fraction of them go deviant and violent against humans... *lets his voice trail off with a shake of his head* I'm CyberLife's only chance to solve the deviancy problem and prevent chaos. I /can't/ go deviant too! *that's a LOT of responsibility to put on his narrow, inexperienced shoulders...not that he thinks so, he just knows it's the mission he was given, the one he was designed for*

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: That is a lot of responsibility for one person, or one machine. ...what will they do with you not there?

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: ...*shoulders slump* I've probably already been replaced. I've been here at least a week and half back home. As soon as I didn't show up at the police station, they...they probably assumed I was either destroyed or went deviant and took off. They'll have loaded what they had of my memory stores into the next Connor unit and deployed it.

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: ...And what will they do with you when Sirrah takes you back?

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: ...I don't know. *a beat, then almost as if convincing himself they won't destroy him* I'm not a deviant. *...yet...*

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: And will you still not be deviant in a year or two when it sounds like you’ve come so close in just a couple weeks?

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: *softly after a moment's hesitation* I don't know. *looks up at Terris* I don't know. *so lost in that moment - what does he do? Tell him what to do...*

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: *shifts around by Connor and pulls the android into a hug.* I don’t mean to uoset you, Connor. I ask only out if concern for you.

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: *curls into that hug, feeling small and lost and comforted by the arms around him - quiet for a moment till he gets control of himself again* What happens to me isn't important. I'm just a machine. * shifts to look over his shoulder at Ziomi without quite pulling from Terris's arms to do it* So long as she's all right. I just need to get her safely to Lord Levair's.

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: I think what happens to you matters a lot, if not to you then at least to her. You mean a lot to her, Connor. It would wound her deeply if anything ever happened to you.

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: ...*lips press again and he nods. He's not really aware of it, somewhat lost in thought, in his own processes, but unless Terris shifts, he'll stay cuddled to Terris's side*

[socrowdedinhere]

Terris: *is perfectly fine with keeping Connor snugged close. After a while, though...* It is late. Do you need sleep at all?

[cyberlifeslastchance]

Connor: Mnn. *makes himself straighten and sit back from Terris* I do not. Sirrah and I will keep watch while you and Ziomi sleep. *kinda "volunteering" Sirrah because she's up nights with him anyway*